The Transformed Wife Gets Misunderstood
On sin, forgiveness and natural consequences
It looks like we’re going to jump right into the deep end. Two days ago, The Transformed Wife shared the post above, and many Christians proceeded to lose their ever-loving minds. Some shamed her, some argued that the post was flat-out wrong because salvation washes away sin, some accused her of legalism, and the list goes on.
But here’s the thing. The post may be abrupt, it may be a little too “quippy” for such a sensitive topic, but it’s not wrong. It’s important to avoid both sin and its consequences - and it’s also important to separate the two, as doing so helps us remain clear-headed as we wade into emotionally charged waters.
Speaking of emotions, it took me far too long to learn not to follow my feelings. For example, if I, a woman with an ankle tattoo and a plethora of past poor choices, led with my emotions while reading the post above, I'd wind up swimming in a puddle of defensive self-pity. Take it from someone who learned the hard way: it’s never helpful to fly into a rage or to dissolve into a pool of woe - and if that does happen, it’s certainly not a good idea to respond while in such a state.
Anyway, back to my point about separating sin from natural consequences, because this is where everyone seemed to get stuck. Sin is forgiven. The consequences of forgiven sin remain. Take my tattoo, for example. When I was 19, I woke up one morning and said, “I think I’ll get a tattoo today.” The tattoo isn’t meaningful, and it’s not even a good story. I was just young and rebellious, and I drove myself to Albany, NY, and had a bald man with a bull-ring in his nose chisel a rose onto my ankle (a 90s date-stamp if there ever was one). More than a decade later, I learned what the Lord says about my ankle-rose, and I repented. I know my sin is forgiven, and still my tattoo remains.
The Lord’s abundant grace astounds me every day. But the uncomfortable truth is that even after we’re forgiven, unless the Lord wills it, there’s no escaping the natural consequences of our sin. Whether it’s financial debt or infertility or emotional scars or illness from poor lifestyle choices…these consequences can strain a marriage, end a marriage, or even keep a marriage from happening in the first place. These consequences are real, they are difficult and can’t be wished away. While a potential spouse may choose to accept and deal with such consequences, it would be unfair and unrealistic to demand that these consequences be overlooked.
Sin is forgiven. But the consequences of forgiven sin remain. So teach your children to avoid sin.
The interesting thing is, none of that was really the point of the post. For all the arguing in the comments and on Twitter about sin and forgiveness and tattoos, many folks missed the point, which was not about judging women and their past sins, but about teaching our children to avoid future sin and their future consequences.
Despite The Transformed Wife’s rather brusque delivery, her words are nevertheless true. We may catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but it behooves us to learn to discern and catch the flies in either case. Truth is truth, and the truth is that God teaches us to avoid sin not because He’s a legalistic tyrant; He teaches us to avoid sin because loves us, He wants it to go well with us, and because He knows how much sin - and its consequences - hurts us. Mothers, let us love and teach our precious children in the same way.